Cancer is weird. Actually, cancer treatment is weird. From about ten feet away, if you can’t see the fanny pack with the dangling tubing, I look relatively normal, albeit with a slightly 80s hairdo. In reality, my flesh, guts and bones (probably) are peeling, shedding, breaking, shredding, itching, burning and lordy knows what else. Today I looked at my fingernails, and they’re...
Meant to post this last week.....sorry
So, if I’ve failed to call you write you answer your email answer your mail do something I promised to do remember to do something I promised to do text you hang out with you apologize to you …..I’m sorry.
classicajays: So here it is everyone, the Steve Martin monologue that was a tribute to Gilda Radner. She had died that afternoon, the same day as the season finale. While Steve is presenting the “Dancing in the Dark” sketch (from the Steve Martin/Blues Brothers episode) he’s trying to hold back tears. This was just an unforgettable SNL moment that crushes your heart when you watch it. In...
The worst thing about radiation treatment (so far) is the very artisanal movement of your generous build on a table the width of a picnic bench, covered with a sheet in case you didn’t have enough friction. At first you’re slid up and down at the direction of several radiation techs, who probably spend their weekends moving sofas for fussy socialites (No, back - no, up just a hair -...
Approximate cost of my first run of chemo. Could’ve purchased my butt tumour: 3 houses in Detroit 1,000 pairs of ugly shoes from that Kim Kardashian slutty shoe site Approximately 25,000 Hershey bars
Will chemo cure my sore throat? In other news, off to get nuked today! Let’s kick this butt in the butt! Whoo!
Problems Sleeping Bother Both Cancer Patients and... →
In other news, drinking water fights thirst and sun makes you warm. I’m off for a nap now. Wish me luck.
I’ve been a bad little cancer pirate lately. Haven’t written, haven’t gotten my house and life in shape in preparation for six weeks of nuclear winter. Just gotten crotchety. Oh wait - now that the drugs are out of my system and the chemo is fading, I’ve been actively Having Fun. Which is true. I’ve had lots of fun these past few weeks. Still, I have to recover...
Many patients sign forms directing that their lives not be prolonged by...– - Roger Ebert (Also, in case my health care proxy drops out of one of those dandy purple file folders at NYU. I’m sure a Tumblr post is legally binding. Also, give my organs away and stuff.)
Things to draw in Sharpie on my butt before...
Your Name Here That creepy yellow smiley face from the 70s The finger I also plan to stick some glow sticks down my panties, just for effect.