Via Mom
(On my way to radiology appointment. Am not handling the idea of butt-nuking well, and the radiologist is a real Dr Doom-and-Gloom.)
Me: What can I eat that will make me fart the most?
Mom: Somehow, I knew you were going to say that.
June 2011
18 posts
The results are in
Have had my head up my butt literally so I haven’t written.
Chemo succesful in reducing tumor Beauregard and the confederate army of lymph nodes to about 1/2 scale.
Yes. Yes I do.
Via my mildly frustrated but lovely chemo nurse drawing blood from port (which is located squarely on my right boob):
“Ah, you always need to wear these pushup bras to work? Oh well.”
another choice for ink
Just plain tired lately.
Via Mom
Me (sighing): I feel cancery today.
Mom: What? Is that a word?
Me: Cancery, I don’t know.
Mom: I don’t like that word.
Me: OK. I feel shitty today.
Mom: Much better.
Why Bizarro Patient Zero?
My pal (and one of the funniest non-comedians I know) Lenora asked me about the title of this blog, and my response is long-overdue.
“Patient Zero” is used to refer to the first person to start an epidemic.
Considering the epidemic of cancer in my family, I feel like the reverse - the culmination of a fabulous mix of genetics. Hence, bizarro (backwards) patient zero.
Fascinating, right?
Tomorrow.
Tomorrow is the last day of Sparkle Juice. Soon will start Sparkle II - Electric Boogaloo. Now, with more radiation! At least that’s what’s planned.
If I get tattoos for radiation placement, I want to get this tattoo after treatment:
Kingsford? Match Light?
I saw a color picture of my tumor, which my shocked GI doc blankly handed to me after the first colonoscopy. It looks kind of like a burned marshmallow fallen onto a broken charcoal briquette.
Ah, summertime!
